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Joke Wednesday Thread

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  • Joke Wednesday Thread

    Believe it or not, this came out of the office of a major international speedway:

    A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son
    playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the
    train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of ******* who want off, get the hell off now...cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of ******* who are getting on, get your *sses on the train...cause
    we're going down the tracks.

    The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that
    kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you
    are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train...but I want you to use nice language."

    Two hours later, the boy came out of the bedroom and
    resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother
    heard her son say, "All passengers, please remember to gather all of your belongings, thank you and I hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking on the train.
    We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

    As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ***** in the kitchen...
    "Is that my *** that I smell burning?" ... Helmet Stogie from "Death spasms of the Mabuchi"

  • #2
    It's a classic, doc!


    • #3
      I'll just go right to the punchlines.

      "Lady, I don't think I can take 66 more of those."

      "You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork."
      "Foyt's mere presence is a punch in the face, an inoculation against milquestoast corporatism. There wasn't a car anywhere anyhow anytime that Foyt wouldn't put the boot to, and there hasn't been a race devised he couldn't win."
      - Jeff MacGregor, Sunday Money


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