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On Jeeps and Women

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  • On Jeeps and Women

    I saw this rather amusing tidbit from Jalopnik. It ostensibly was about a Jeep, but it turned into a manifesto about the relationship between men, their vehicle(s) and the women who can sometimes come between them. A number of us have been or are still in this situation. For most of us it has involved a favored brand of car or a motorcycle. For others it may be a plane or boat. Whatever the toy, it boils down to a triangle between the toy, men and women.

    http://jalopnik.com/5733319/how-an-o...yline=true&s=i
    So, my boyfriend bought a '96 Cherokee (XJ) SE, for way too much, like around $3,000. It broke down and he has put another $2,500 in it and totally rebuilt the engine and did a lot of after market work on it. He has and will do all the labor himself, he refuses to pay for labor. Now, he finds out that the motor needs to be taken back out and fixed again and is looking at another $700. I said he should just sell it and wipe his hands clean, he says he won't make enough.
    Firstly, what is your guys' opinion on what he should do? Secondly, how much do you think he could make parting it versus just the whole car as is?
    Thanks for your guys' opinions!
    You want my opinion? Ok…
    Shut the hell up. You're not his wife. You're not paying for the repairs. It's absolutely none of your business what he does with his Jeep or his money. I know your type well… first it's "Sell the Jeep because it's costing too much money." Then it's "No, you can't go spend the weekend with your buddies because I need you to take me shopping." Then it's "Oh gee, honey… I'm pregnant. Gosh, I have no idea how that happened."
    You're a DreamKiller. You kill a guy's dreams, take away his future, tie him down with a fat mortgage and too many babies, and turn him into just another miserable guy wondering, "How the hell did I get here?"
    Do you really want to help him? Here's what you do… go to your local library (it's a big building with books inside) and check out a couple of books on rebuilding engines. Read them, over and over, until YOU understand what needs to be done. Then help him get that engine out and rebuild it. Tie your hair back in a ponytail, put on some old jeans and get your hands dirty. Hand him wrenches, hold the light, pull the wire connectors apart, help him get the hood off… help him with anything he needs. When he gets tired, run inside and make him a hot lunch or dinner. Fix him coffee, hot chocolate, whatever he wants. (But NO beer. Beer is for when the job is done.)
    Then when the day is over and you're both exhausted from working on the engine, push him into a hot shower and jump in with him. Scrub his back, wash his hair, rinse him off, and dry him with fluffy towels still hot from the dryer. Then push him into bed and screw his ears off. Then get up the next day and do it all over again.
    Make him realize that rebuilding an engine is a slow and methodical process. Make him realize that every step should be regarded as surgery; every step must be perfect… perfect torque, perfect fit, perfectly clean. If you run into a step that you just can't figure out, ask for help from someone who knows what he's doing. Are you cute? Put on a low-cut top, show some cleavage and go (by yourself) to the local Jeep shop, and explain to the guys that you are helping your boyfriend to rebuild his engine and neither of you can figure out this one little step, and do they have any advice…
    Think it won't work? Think again. We guys love to help cute girls, even if they have a boyfriend. (Hey, maybe you've got a sister, or girlfriend…)
    But absolutely DO NOT whine or complain. Do not say a single negative thing. Not a single "Oooooo, I broke a nail." If you break a nail, or cut your finger, or bang a knuckle, you just shut up and DEAL WITH IT. You should be a hopelessly optomistic, never-say-die cheerleader, encouraging him every step of the way.
    That's my opinion.

  • #2
    I can guarantee you no woman ever wrote that.
    Davydd (Anglicized Welsh name for David...that's all)
    Certified BPT Taster Pursuing Pork Tenderloin Sandwiches
    Long lost Speedway Sparkplug thrashing about in the deep woods of Minnesota

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    • #3
      I thought the Wrangler was the official vehicle of the Rainbow Nation??

      "Ooh woo, I'm a Rebel just for kicks, now
      I been feeling it since 1966, now..."

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Davydd View Post
        I can guarantee you no woman ever wrote that.
        The reply definitely written by a man. Most likely some crusty guy in his 50's.

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        • #5
          What's his TF screen name?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by MoparsRule View Post
            What's his TF screen name?
            They said Jack... something.

            "Ooh woo, I'm a Rebel just for kicks, now
            I been feeling it since 1966, now..."

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            • #7
              Nah, you could take the ten biggest orifices who have ever graced these pages and they would not add up to that guy...
              "The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
              ~~Groucho Marx
              I have the hots for Khaleesi...

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              • #8
                Wow! Do they actually make women who would do all of that?
                "If you wait, all that happens is you get older" - Mario Andretti

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                • #9
                  Reminded me of this..

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Coyote Red View Post
                    Reminded me of this..

                    LMAO, nice!
                    "I would like to be able to admire a person's opinions as I would their dog - without being expected to take it home with me." ---- Frank A. Clark
                    " it only makes sense for the world's most prestigious fried chicken to pair up with the world's most prestigious watch brand" ---D. Byrd

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